:)

You rescued me (On Eagles' Wings)
You rescued me and picked me up
A living hope of grace revealed
A life transformed in righteousness
Oh Lord you have rescued me
and I will soar on wings like eagles
held by your loving hands
I will run and not grow tired when on your name I call
For you are never weary
your ways are beyond my thoughts
I will trust in you with all my heart

Lord, my heart aches when I think of the new week. The mental weariness can be so unbearable and the physcial lack of sleep is making me doze off almost everywhere. I ask for your grace and providence. Amen.

Facing the Giants

"Your Absolute Best"

How Much Can A Person Take?

This is a question that I sudden thought of today. Today has not been what I call a good day. Having tuition at 8.30am at upper east coast was not exactly great and the rest of the day didn't go smooth too.. but I was glad that I ended my day with my piano lesson. I was feeling more and more depressed as the day past but the piano lesson cheered me up. Music really really lifted my spirits and now I am back to normal again..

I seriously contemplated quiting piano before. After all, I didn't attend any lessons from the 21/5 to 30/8. That's 3 months. Plus, I don't need to spend money on these lessons.. Plus plus, I don't need to spend even more PRECIOUS time in it.. So well, everything seemed to point to quiting.. But I am glad I didn't..
Maybe it was God's plan for me. Maybe.. I felt prompted to continue during the sunday sermon by Ps Caleb. One, he said something about music at the beginning of his sermon, can't remember what exactly but it struck a chord with me... Then, at the end of the sermon, he "played" the song Faithful God. Wow, again felt prompted to play the piano again... God reminded me why I started learning piano again in April: I wanted to play this song Faithful God.
Haha.. yes.. I started re-learning piano in April because of this song.. Sounds crazy.. but yes.. But thank God.. He knows me best..

I asked myself how much can I take.. how much can one take? Physically.. Emotionally.. Mentally.. I wanted an answer and I wanted it now.. But God remained silent.. Wait and took bus 63 then bus 8, got down bus 8.. still silence.. While waiting for another bus, I remembered a scene from " FACING THE GIANTS"

----- The coach challenges the boy to carry another boy and crawl across the whole football field. Before that, the boy estimated that he can only go 30 yards at most. The coach blindfolds him and he is asked to crawl. The boys crawls and crawls.. slowly, he gets tired.. His muscles were hurting so bad. He begs the coach to let him stop.. "It hurts", "It's too hard"... But on and on, his hands and legs went on.. until the end zone -----

These words spoke to me a lot
"I want to see your absolute best..."
"Even if you can't, I want you to promise that you are going to do your best.."
"... you promise me your best.. you don't quit on me.."
God's words were raining down upon me..

I come to a realisation that.. a person can take a lot, beyond what we can measure.. Although we feel tired, as long as we just lift our hands and legs with our mental, we will keep on going.. So all I have to do is to blindfold myself to the mountains ahead of me and climb... there will be more than enough strength from God. More than enough.

The human race only ends when I am called back into God's embrace. Until then, I have got to keep running...

back to my economics and japanese homework which is due tomorrow! Argh!

:) So glad it's teacher's day! only got 1 tution.. Met up with 2 of my VJC classmates.. went to blade before going for dinner. Really had an excellent time talking with them.



Talk about how the world is unfair and life is full of things that shouldn't happen but is happening, like some things that happen in VJC.. People in authority mis-using their authority for their personal "pleasure" or "motive". Jas was so shocked. She felt very strongly about the things she heard and was asking "How can this happen?... ..." Being in law faculty is really extremely suitable for her, she will make a excellent lawyer... .... haha can't help thinking of the phase pastor always use "Life is Unfair but God is Good"



Next, we talk about gays and lesbians. Do we accept them? We talk about how government policies contradict their stand on gays and lesbians.. how they say that they "accept" them in the society yet the current policy says otherwise.. But we understand the government's reasons of doing some stuff like falling birth rates, and sending the wrong messages to young and impressionable minds...... ........
We also shared our personal thoughts and views about it. Both of them accept gays and lesbians, and think that it is not unnatural.. hmmmm.. I admit that I accept gays and lesbians becos they are my friends but I think it is unnatural.
I confess that up to today I still get a "intangible" feeling about it. Even though I have experienced... ...a lesbian asking me to be her ----- even though she knows I am straight... ... a close friend telling me she was a lesbian... .. a friend who had a sex change operation... being in a girls' school for 10 years... I still am unable to understand some things. God, give me to wisdom to deal/think of those issues in a godly way because there is a very thin line between right and wrong.



Finally, we came to a more sensitive topic.. religion.. more specifically, God. Much was said.. Darius got the ball rolling by sharing about his spiritual walk (Praise the Lord for bring him back on track). We talked about who God helps and why some things happen the way it happens. Although Jas says that she is a catholic, I would say that her doubts about God were great. A lot of things she say were quite "serious" in a way "Do you believe every single things written in the bible? How can you not question? We need to question and not believe blindly..." Yes, it is human nature to question and ask.. maybe even doubt.. I guess this is all about faith. Believing in the things we cannot understand...



It's a terrific feeling talking to my VJC classmates again.. even though we are like in a tutorial discussion class.. A 5 hour tutorial session that I actually enjoy... haha..
To GOD.. God, your ways are greater than my way. Although it took me so long to understand it, I finally come to comprehend it better. Not fully, but surely.

Hi.. After DG and it's like quite late now.. but here to blog.. haha.. Actually, just now I only shared about the more light-hearted things... ... so here to "unload" the more unhappy things..

Actually, I am slightly depressed about some things... I had a few quizzes and a test for my japanese module. Although I have not gotten any of my marks back, I feel that I didn't do well for it... All these quizzes and tests are counted towards my final grade for this module... And i got depressed cos the lecturer actually put up this notice " I checked the test papers and homework submitted yesterday. The lesson test demonstrates how hard you have been working until now. I was so impressed with your effort to learn a new language" ............

Talk about being demoralised, really wished that I had more time and didn't have to handle so many things.. Feel like shouting out to God "God, you either give me more time or you get someone help me in Japanese"

Didn't share this during DG becos I was partly scared that I will start the vicious cycle of wallowing in self-pity again, like last year.. NO NO cannot.. I know God doesn't want this to happen.. He doesn't want me to cry but pick up the pieces. I have gotten myself into this situation and I must get out of it myself. He will help but I must act. He had given me so much more to cheer about.

He has given me,
More strength than weariness
More strength than weakness
More peace than fear
More joy than sadness
More warmth than coldness
More love than any other...

Because of all he had done, I can smile no matter what "shit" I receive from the world.

I can't help remembering some parts of the faith chapter in Hebrew 11 which I memorised during the Nov/Dec 2006 (the u-know-what period) "Faith is... .. believing on the things yet unseen..." Here to share this to unload and release myself for God to heal and do more great works in my life...

"It's all about KEEPING THE FAITH, Sheryl"

ps. feel that I should re-memorise the faith chapter.. forgot a lot.. haha..

I lift my eyes onto the hills,
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth...

2006 VJC TABLE TENNIS

2006, the last year that I am going to play for a table tennis team. No, I am definitely not going to play competitive already. 8 years of competition enough already, 9 years of training. Hard to let go but part of me knows that the time is up.

I seriously thought that I will be celebrating like mad, haha, cos don't need to miss any class outing, friends outing or leisure time because of training anymore. But I guess that I can't really feel glad because of the happy times that I had. I won't ever give up this experience for anything in the world. It was God's gift to me.

By God's plan, I was made the captain. Totally didn't unexpected it, the election was like so sudden... or maybe I was just plain blur... It was so different from being a captain in PL, like I didn't know whether I was even prepared to take the post up. I mean, there was just SO MUCH SO MUCH pressure to win... (Besides, Li Juan was an EXCELLENT captain. EXCELLENT.) If don't get into the finals, it will be like the end of the world. The pressure was mostly self-induced. But my fellow teammates also felt the same, we were all like "..don't know what to do if we don't get into finals.." , "Don't know whether next time will still have Adidas shirts, 50% discounted shoes and bags etc"... Guess that when you play for VJC, you will set higher standards. Also, the whole school looking so pai seh to lose.. haha..

Can't forget how much time we spent talking and discussing. Conference calls, staying after school/training or ponning lessons. Talk so much about 1 topic.. haha.. like siao like that. Then, before the big game, confirm will have some people bring eye bags to school and the mood will get very solemn.

For me, what I can NEVER forget is the day I had to make to make an announcement to the whole school telling them about the finals. I remember it as an humid day and I was thinking whether the usual latecomers like Nellie will be late because the whole team had to go up and stand on the stage too. Quite nervous cos I think we are either the 1st or 2nd sports team to reach the finals and have to make this announcement, hoping I don't talk rubbish.. haha...We finally assembled (Nellie was on time! haha) and there were a few announcement before it was our turn.
Now comes the UNFORGETTABLE PART! While thinking it was so hot, something dropped on my head. My reaction was a bit slow. I thought for a moment before using my right hand to feel my head. It took a while to register that there was some yellow slimy stuff on my head. Yes, it was BIRD DROPPINGS. I was like "ARGH! ARGH!Bird shit, bird shit.. How? How? Got to get on the stage to make announcement soon.." Then, the team (even Jieyu) and even the teachers were laughing lor.. so pai seh! Like how often do this happen? and now? Good timing hor.. Hurried off to wash it off with water first if not no time. No, definitely not going on stage with bird shit on my head, no!
Someone (can't remember who) even ask me to leave the bird shit on my head because good luck.. Like, like.. ar? Huh? What if got bateria/fungi/worms grow on my head? Noooo! haha.. Immediately went to wash my hair with shampoo with Louisa who was apparently busy taking photos of me washing my head in the sink in my full uniform. Didn't want to change my clothes cause I already bathed and the bird only targeted my head. Thanks little birdie for dropping that bomb and waking me up so early. But no thanks, no next time please!

The 2nd time I went up on the stage was to thank the school for their support. Yes, they applauded. I couldn't help but feel that that applause was symbolic. Symbolic of the end of a "performance". It was the end, no more Table Tennis. God's next chapter is starting to unfold... ...

Thanksgiving

:) Hi! decided to get a blog so that I can record the happenings in my life. Really want to remember them when I get old. Haha..

Just want to thank God for all he has done. He has shown me much favour since I was young, favour with people with those around me and given me little talents that I am unworthy of. He has also blessed me with my family and friends. I am so thankful that he has also given me so many wonderful memories (that I will blog of) to remember.

My innocent days in kindergarten and primary school.
My lovely classmates in PLMGSS and VJC. I miss them...
My fellow prefects in PLMGSS (God's plan)..
My my my beloved Table Tennis teammates in PLMGPS, PLMGSS and VJC. All our medals are stained with sweat, fun and laughter :)
My good old cell group. Most in the DG are OLD, haha joking..

It is only by his mercy that I can live each day smiling. He's my joy and strength. Thanks be to God :)